


that inhuman ache

by lupinestars



Series: dribz and drabz [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Gen, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, sirius is basically in his feels, yeah im really bad at these so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 12:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30072393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinestars/pseuds/lupinestars
Summary: sirius is lonely and angsty and so blames it all on himself in true sirius fashion,
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: dribz and drabz [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212494
Kudos: 3





	that inhuman ache

**Author's Note:**

> as always, please leave kudos if you liked it and if not drop a comment on how i could improve ! <3

Sometimes, he transformed back from Padfoot into Sirius to remind him what it was to be human but the lines, at best, were already blurred and he could hardly tell the difference. There was many a time where he was convinced he was human Sirius, the Sirius that had loved and lived and enjoyed but then he would look down at his hands and often find paws with grimy nails and matted fur. Still, he tried harder and harder each day, _transforming_ each day, changing his very makeup to remind him what it was to be human but never to be alive.

On his worst days, visions of his past floated back to him; round glasses with a wiry black frame, the smell of chocolate in the afternoon, how it felt to lie down on the grass on hot summer days where even the breeze felt like it was being held captive. Red hair, the colour of fire - tame and filtered. but he never let these thoughts hold his mind captive for too long, always changing back to the dog. Because, in the end, who was he if not Sirius Black, always avoiding his demons then declaring he was right when it backfired on him?

The ache of his muscles contorting every few hours was nothing compared to the ache of that innate _knowing_ , he thought in one of his rare more lucid moments as a human.


End file.
